I was on the phone with my mother (her cell phone) about 2 hours ago when she received a call (on her home phone) from the nursing home where my Grandparents live telling her that Grandma wasn't doing well and they needed to get there. My Grandpa wasn't there either. He was out visiting with his oldest daughter.
My father just called me to let me know that my Grandma passed away at 3pm this afternoon. We knew this day was coming because Hospice had been called in about 2 weeks ago but it is still a shock.
Now I have a very painful confession and why this hurts even more that it happened today. Mark asked me last night if I wanted to go to Holland to see my Grandparents and I said I wasn't really feeling like running all the way into Holland tonight and suggested that we go Friday. I could just kick myself. We knew there wasn't much time left, was it such an inconvenience to have just gone last night? It isn't like she would have even remembered we were there because her dementia had gotten so bad, but I know. Even when I said it to Mark last night in the back of my mind I was thinking "I hope I don't regret that". You see this same thing happened to Mark and I when his Grandma passed away. He had planned on stopping by to see her after work and had a long day at work and decided to just come home and see her the next night. She passed away unexpectantly in her sleep that night. She was still living on her own and volunteer tutoring at a local elementary school.
I know my Grandma is in the presence of Jesus Christ and for that I am grateful!
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21 comments:
I'm so sorry,please don't beat yourself up for staying home.Spend your time right now thinking of all the great memories you have made over the years.You were very good at including your grandparents in your family's life.That is what was important to both of them. You are a good granddaughter.Take care,Patty
I'm so sorry Jennifer. I know how much your Grandma meant to you. You know, that if her mind was good and you had asked her last night, she would have told you to stay home and not to worry about it now. Like Patty said - the time you spent with her earlier was more important. You'll be in my prayers.
Oh Jen,
You have my sympathies! I'm so sorry for your loss.
Everyone is right- don't beat yourself up. Your Grandma knew how much you loved her.
I'm sending you a hug and you will be in my prayers.
Jennifer,
I'm so sorry for you and your family. I don't think anyone ever thinks they spent enough time with their loved ones after they pass away. I'll be praying for you all.
I'm so sorry about your grandma. Your family will be in our prayers.
Jen, I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing. You will be in my prayers tonight.
Jen, I can't say much more then everyone else said! I am so sorry about your Grandmother! Remember the wonderful relationship you had and think on those things!
Jen,
I am so sorry for your loss! I know how much you loved your grandmother. I will be praying for you and your family!
Oh, my friend I am truly sorry for your loss. Praying for you and family.
Can I share something with you? When I popped into your blog and read your post I was listening to this song "Between The Two Of Them" by Allan Hall. Have you ever heard it?
If not I can email you the lyrics.
Afternoon, my husbands Grandmother(mom) and Grandfather (Dad) passed away this song took on a whole new meaning for us. Let me know what you think?
Praying
Jen,
I cannot say it any better myself. do not feel guilty and do not beat yourself up. She knew you loved her so much!!!
I am so thankful that this didn't happen next week. That is always my worst fear that something will happen to my Grandma (97) when we are out of the country. Praise God you can be with your family during this time. Praying for you all.
Imagine where she is right at this moment! Worshiping her Lord! Wow, what an image!! :)
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. Dont be too hard on yourself- she is with Jesus afterall
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma. We will be praying for your family. Remember to focus on the last line of your post.
I'm so sorry for you guys :( I think everyone else said what I could say... how's everyone in your family doing?
Oh Jen, I'm so sorry. Even when you know they're with Jesus, it's still a hard thing.
My grandparents stopped by on a Saturday, and Andy and I had just rented a video so instead of sitting and keeping company with them, we went and watched our video. On Monday my grandma died and I've always felt bad about that. But I don't think they'd blame us right? So don't feel bad about that. I'm sure your grandma knew that you loved her!
Jen, sorry about your losss. It is normal to feel like you want to kick yourself or beat yourself up for the decision of not running. Remember all the good times.
I will confess too. In Randy's last two weeks here I stayed all night in the Nursing home at his bedside while other friends took care of the kids. The last night that he was here, I stayed awake all night which I did all those other nights too, I finally said at 5am, I need to go home and get in my bed and get to sleep. Well, just before 10am, I get that call and said Randy is going. I had to take a shower to wake up and those aren't very long. I cried like crazy in the shower and then got there and just missed being with him during his last breath. I really kicked myself over that one for a few years.
Jennifer, I am so sorry. Do not feel bad about not visiting. Life has to go on and there are those times when it just is not the easiest thing to go and visit the sick. Besides, what would your grandmother say if she knew you were feeling guilty? I am sure you have beautiful memories to draw on from times past...think of those things. Will pray for you all in the coming days.
So sorry to hear this Jen. Our prayers and hugs are with you and your family. Love Dave and Kathy
Jenn,
I am SO SO SO very sorry about the loss of your grandmother...I haven't been around a lot lately and am just now trying to get caught up with everyone, so I apologize for the lateness of my sympathies.
Please know that your grandmother KNEW that you loved her dearly (I am sure of it).
With my heartfelt prayers and hugs sent your way...Melissa
Jennifer, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I'll be keeping you in prayer......
Jennifer I am so very sorry. I read all the way down and stopped to comment here. Her kind face reminds me so much of my own grandmother (granny). The last year of her life I was not able to spend as much time as I wanted--or she wanted. But the memories of being in her house, he kitchen at her fish pond and then later in her nursing home room are priceless treasures. I know you cherish yours as well.
Don't dwell on what you could have done, but think on what you were able to do with her. That's what she would be doing! (I know after Wanda passed away I thought a kazillion times of the things I could have done---but I don't accomplish a thing in doing that). THANKFULLY---they are not gone from us forever---for we have a hope of eternal life in Christ Jesus.
I will be adding your hurting heart as well as arm to my list.
Love you dear girl.
I am so sorry for your loss.
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