Ten days ago Grandpa was hospitalized for the day with a flare up of the congestive heart failure. They were able to get him stable but sent him home with an oxygen machine. My folks had already been telling Grandpa that taking care of Grandma is taking too much of a toll on him and he needs to let others help him with her. Well this finally convinced him because it took him quite awhile to recover from it this time. He isn't able to get up quickly and if Grandma gets it in her head that she is leaving she will up and leave and he can't catch up with her. They were currently living in a retirement village but not receiving any help as far as nurses. Grandma is on a lot of medications and it is getting hard for Grandpa to get her to take them. Everyone has been taking turns visiting them a couple times a week just so Grandpa could have a break and go play cards and pool with some of the other guys in the building. However, it is hard to convince Grandma that he will be right back and sometimes she goes to get him but thankfully by the time she finds him she forgets why she was looking for him and will go back to their unit again.
Today we moved them to the next building over from where they were. It is 24 hour nursing care for both of them. All of their meals are provided, laundry is done for them, medication is dispensed and the huge plus is all the doors to the outside are locked. Grandma can not get out of the building. It requires a key code in order for the doors to open and Grandma could never remember it.
My Uncle's wife took Grandpa and Grandma to visit some of the Great-great-grandkids for the morning so that we could move their stuff without causing her too much stress. To say Grandma was upset to find all of her stuff moved is an understatement. She would not take her coat off and was letting Grandpa know how unhappy she was. My poor Grandpa was trying so hard to calm her down. She finally said, "I'm leaving!" I told Grandpa to just sit I will follow her and let her check the place out. By then he was more than willing to let someone else help out. By the time we walked down the short hallway to the front desk she had forgotten why she was there and asked me where John (Grandpa) went. I showed her back to the room and found Grandpa with his head in his hands crying. Tears flow even now as I type about it. This is a strong, loving man and to see him like that just tore my heart. I love him so dearly.
When it was finally time to leave Grandpa was by the front desk discussing Grandma's medicine with the nurse. (I should add here that it is a wonderful staff of ladies. They made us feel so welcomed. They even brought us lunch when they overheard we were going to skip lunch to get this done as quickly as possible before Grandma came back.) I mentioned to Grandpa that I had to leave and he asked me to wait a second. He came around from behind the counter to give me a hug and a kiss and he held me too long. You know what I mean, had he given me a quick hug I could have kept my emotions in check like I had all day but that hug lasted too long. I can still feel it and the kiss on my cheek. It opened the flood gates and I was crying uncontrollable before I could even get to my vehicle. I was able to keep it in check in front of Grandpa and I did tell him that I loved him.
Grandma tires me out emotionally in a couple hours and Grandpa is with her 24 hours a day. The love he has for her is beautiful. He is such a testimony to the love in a marriage that God intended.
Thursday my folks will get to leave for their vacation and now they will have the comfort of knowing that Grandpa is getting help with Grandma. If he needs a break he can leave at anytime and someone will be there to sit with Grandma and keep her company.
Grandpa and Grandma on Christmas day looking at a devotional book my sister gave them.
Grandpa lovin' on Libby. He LOVES his grandkids, great-grandkids, and great-great grandkids!Please keep them in your prayers this week as Grandma adjusts to her new home. Pray for strength for Grandpa as he has to keep "re-living" the move because it will take awhile before Grandma stops asking "when are we going home" because she has forgotten that this is home.
Smiles!
(It is hard to do that today but I have joy in the knowledge that John and Ester's names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life! If my heart goes out for them how much more does my Heavenly Father's? God is watching and he will give them what they need today.)
Smiles!
(It is hard to do that today but I have joy in the knowledge that John and Ester's names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life! If my heart goes out for them how much more does my Heavenly Father's? God is watching and he will give them what they need today.)
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17 comments:
Oh Jen, I will be praying your Grandmother makes the transititon quickly! What an awesome example of unselfish love! My heart goes out to all of you!
Thank you for this amazing post. I was so touched as I read this. What wonderful examples of unconditional, unselfish love!
I know exactly where you are coming from. My in-laws are going through the same thing right know...they are 80 and 88. My FIL had to put my MIL (advanced Alzheimer's) into a nursing home in November.
He just couldn't take care of her any longer at home. He still feels guilty about having to do it though and is at the home 3 times a day visiting. It is so sad. There are many days we worry about him because he just doesn't seem to understand that she is never going to get better. I guess he can't stand the thought of her being "gone".
So sad...
Jennifer - I remember the day I came home from college and saw my grandmother who had always been rather large and healthy, now skin and bones. I just ran out of the room crying.
Seeing our loved ones suffer health issues is so hard, but praise God for all of you who loved them so much that you went in there and moved them. Some older couples have children who will not help or assist in any way.
I have a notebook here beside my computer that I use to write down prayer requests and I will write down you and your grandparents' names in my prayer journal.
Hello Sweet friend,
I am praying for you
Big hugs
Hope
Oh Jennifer - I have tears in my eyes as I read this. It is so hard to go through this and to see you grandparents health decline. I'll be praying for them and the rest of the family. I'm praying for a quick adjustment for your Grandma. What a blessing to know they are so loved by their Heavenly Father and He is taking care of them!
Jen, Here's a big hug for you. It brought tears to my eyes to read your story. I see people like this each day at work, and I know how difficult it is for the elderly people, and for the family members. I know you love them so much and you want what is best for them. I hope that your Grandma makes the transition smoothly and that this will aid your Grandpa to be able to recover and stay strong. I'll be praying for them and you <3
I'm praying for you and your grandparents right now. Your post brought back memories of my grandparents. My grandma had congestive heart failure and my grandpa, dementia. It was very difficult when they moved into assisted living as well. It is so hard to see them that way!
A very bitter sweet post. I only have one Grandma left. She is 94 and still doing well.
My other Grandma lost her memory and it was very difficult to visit her before she died. I will keep your family in my prayer
I too will be praying for your Grandmother and your family. I know this is hard on everyone, I hope your Grandmother can adjust quickly.
Your grandparents look and sound like a couple that love each other very much, they are so lucky to have had that all these years. I hope their new care helps relieve some of the burden off your grandfather.
Praying for you!
Those pictures are precious! My granmother is still alive and playing golf at 80 plus years.
Your post was a good reminder for me to reflect on the importance of family members.
Smiles! :) As you would say.
Jennifer,
I have tears in my eyes as I read this. It's so hard to watch the ones you love go through a difficult time. I love the picture of Grandpa loving on the grandkids. What memories you have to cherish forever!
I pray they will adjust well to their new surroundings!
Jen,
It's so hard to think about that. Thanks for sharing it with us. I think when I was younger those things didn't bother me as much because "they're grandpa's and grandma's and that's just what happens when you get old." But now that I'm married, I can't even imagine going through that with Aaron. Your grandpa is a strong man. I will be praying for their adjustment and that they will grow to love it there.
Jen,
It's so hard to think about that. Thanks for sharing it with us. I think when I was younger those things didn't bother me as much because "they're grandpa's and grandma's and that's just what happens when you get old." But now that I'm married, I can't even imagine going through that with Aaron. Your grandpa is a strong man. I will be praying for their adjustment and that they will grow to love it there.
Jen,
I'm trying to type through the tears here.
What a hard situation. What amazing grand-parents and What an amazing testimony of the love of a husband for his wife.
I'm praying they feel God's peace through this transition.
Jen what a great grand daughter you are! I'm sure you would give credit to God for your strength.I think it's so nice that you take the time to spend the day with them both. I too will be praying for all of you,especially Grandma and Grandpa.They sound like great role models for your generation and your kids.Thanks for sharing that touching story.Take care,Patty
Hi, my friend,
I am so sorry that you have this hurt in your life. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. And I know that your grandfather must be so sad to see his wife like this. I will pray that he will find peace in this situation. How wonderful that they are able to be in such a nice facility. I know this is such peace of mind to you all.
I never had to deal with this with my grandparents,but dear friends who are like family went through the same thing. She had Alzheimer's and thankfully he has kept his health. She was in such a facility, but he was there with her every day from breakfast until after supper. His quote at one time was, "she may not remember that I am her husband, but I remember. And I will honor that as long as she lives. The last couple of years, she was bedridden, but he was still there everyday. What love and devotion. Sounds as if your grandparents are the same way.
It seems as if you are a great comfort to yor grandfather. He will draw from that strength as he continues to deal with this. May God bless you all and give you peace.
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